I call him Mongo.

Okay. I can understand WHY people sneer at me when I say “I have a migraine.” Too many people use that phrase when they mean “I have a really bad headache.” I, however, know the difference.

A headache is pretty annoying.

A migraine puts you flat on your back.

When I say “I have a migraine,” I mean that the muscles in my shoulder and neck have cramped up, my head feels like it’s being squeezed in a vise and my eye is throbbing. Oh, don’t forget that every light in the room is pulsing in time to my throbbing eye and that every sound I hear makes me want to throw up.

When you have a headache, you take a couple of painkillers and deal with it. I take a DOCTOR PRESCRIBED pill every night to try to prevent the migraines from starting plus another DOCTOR PRESCRIBED pill when the bloody things start anyway.

So when I say “I have a migraine” don’t smirk at me and make jokes. It’s not funny – it’s an effing medical condition.